Have you ever just wanted to give up? Have you ever gotten so fed up with something that you just wanted to run and hide? Have you ever let something in your life grow out of control and into something so big that you can no longer control …it?? If I were posed these vey questions, the answer would be an emphatic “YES” to all of them. I always wanted to give up, especially on life. I hated everything about life and life hated everything about me, but something inside, some small, tiny, little, force kept poking at me to ignore what life seems to be on the outside, and believe that something on the inside will eventually rise to the surface and take control of the uncontrollable, but I could never grab that concept, never mind believe it, after all, I was in a dark, very dark, place in my life and that tunnel had no light whatsoever, so I thought.
Finally, after years of looking at that proverbial glass and never really knowing if it were half full or half empty, something clicked. Something inside, something deep within, finally took the reins and directed my steps out of the darkness and into the light. You see, though that dark place I lived in for most of my life had me pinned behind mountains, I never gave up. I had that belief, that tiny inkling of hope, that one day I will be whole again. I can say now that if I did not believe, if I did not have the mustard seed of hope in myself, if I did not finally share my pains of life with another human being, I would not be alive and grateful for each and every minute I live.
If you are going through pain, keep going and focus your vision on the other side of it. If you are suffering or tired of life, pick yourself up and realize that you are on this earth for a purpose, go and find it. If you feel you are worthless, go look in the mirror and know you are a creation of God Himself and God don’t make junk! If you are an addict or an alcoholic and want recovery, it is right in your hands and you must mold it, shape it, and cultivate it so that like addiction and alcoholism, it too will be progressive. The one thing I will promise you is this, if you keep going, if you stay the course and not only believe in yourself, but love yourself with all the humility in the world and have a little tiny bit if faith and determination, your life, like mine, will blossom into something so beautiful, you will sometimes have to pinch yourself in the butt to make sure you are not dreaming……Have a great night and keep believing and pressing forward!!!
Rich Barnes