My Life
I have come so far,
In my journey of life.
Gone is the hurting pain
And the never ending strife.
My pain was in my mind,
It was buried there so deep.
I can not believe I was like that,
But I never said a peep.
I covered all the pain,
I masked it pretty good.
I could not see it building up,
And made sure no one else could.
I was weak and I was feeble,
Hiding it from all my friends
I was going to hide it forever,
I was going to hide it till the end.
My life was going insane,
Full of anger and fear.
That I would not let anyone in,
I would not even let them come near.
I so desperately needed help,
but did not ask because of pride.
I was so strong on the outside,
But truly dieing inside.
Please help me I screamed,
But the words did not come out,
Pleas help me I said,
Do I really need to shout?
I finally got on my knees,
I could not take any more.
I was scared and alone,
And internally dead to the core.
With tears in my eyes,
And a knife by my side,
I prayed to my God,
And the pain would subside.
A calmness has taken me,
To places I have never seen.
I am so grateful for life,
And forever grateful to be clean.
I know now that my pain had purpose,
And I know it all to well,
It is trying to help someone,
Not experience my lifelong hell.
Rich Barnes
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