As I was visiting a very dear friend of mine in the hospital recently, I happened to glance over at the patient that she shared a room with. She seemed to be in her mid 40’s to mid 50’s and was incapacitated with a breathing tube down her throat. The only communication she could endure was the “blink once for yes and blink twice for no” and could not even move her body but as I walked by her, I saw her eyes follow me and so much sadness entered my heart. I felt her pain, not the physical pain she must be in, but the mental anguish she must endure daily of lying there without movement or true communication. As I sit in the chair, thoughts riddle my mind, even bombard it at times. Thoughts like she can not even physically embrace a family member or friend, or feel the warmth of a kiss from her mom, dad, or child. She can not physically smile and show she is happy, though her circumstances would deny that. She can not brush her hair, shower, drive a car, say hello to a friend, look at the snow falling outside or feel it on her skin or feel the warmth of the sun. I look at her and know her mind is cognizant and alert, yet she can not move, breathe, talk, or smile. Here I am, walking without help, breathing without a ventilator, talking under my own accord, and once and a while, I still catch myself complaining about life. Am I serious??? How could I even muster a complaint after I see this poor woman? How could I ever think that sometimes I have it bad, when this poor woman is bed ridden for life, alone in a bed, not moving!!!!!!I was deeply affected by her because sometimes I lose sight of these little things in life that I take for granted and sometimes I even think I may have it bad, that life sometimes throws me curveballs that I can not hit….NO MORE!!!!!!!!
I need to look at life on life’s terms. I can not complain, nor do I think I have the right to, when there are people out there that do not even have the opportunity to discover hands on what I am complaining about. I know the cliché that “there is always someone worse off than you”, but this really hit me pretty hard. I think I may have been getting away from living life to the full and being grateful for everything and this simple reminder was the elastic band I needed to pull myself back to normalcy…
Have a nice day and please feel free to share
Rich Barnes
www.richfulthinking.com