In life, one of the hardest things that some of us have to overcome, are the pains of the past. It could be something very simple as not getting that job you wanted, not getting the home you longed for, or even not purchasing that dream car, or it could be something of a more serious rapport, like the death of a loved one, or a divorce, or being taken advantage of, or even an illness that negatively impacted your future. I am not naïve to the fact that we are all going to face some disappointments and setbacks in life, but one of the main ingredients to overcome it all, is letting them all go. You must let go of all your mistakes, all your failures, all your disappointments, all your pains and hurts, and all of the things that you have clung to that have a negative hold on your life….
For me, letting go of my past, besides getting clean and sober, was the hardest thing I have ever done. I always told myself I was not worth being happy, that life was not fair, that I would never amount to anything, that all the people I hurt will never forgive me, and that I am a prisoner of my past! Weeks passed, months passed, and I was coming up on a year of sobriety but I still felt as though my life was not surging forward as I thought it should. Here I am, sober and clean for a year after 28 years of abuse, and I still felt like I was sick. Something was wrong and I had no idea what it was, but then it clicked. I was holding on to my past and not embracing what the future is holding for me. My past, in my mind, was more important to me and unbeknownst to me, keeping me stuck in it!! Someone told me, “Rich, in order to move forward with your life, you must raise the anchor of your past, and set sail into the waters of the future.” Boy was he right….I have learned, in the last 7 years, that in order to enjoy what is in front of me, I must let go of what is behind me. I needed to let go of all the selfish things I did to myself and other people that were keeping me stagnant, I needed to forgive others’ for all of their transgressions against me and let them all go. I finally realized that every time I thought of my past, I was giving it life and bringing it front and center and sadly, allowing it to consume my day.
I learned that no matter what I have went through, no matter how unfair it was, no matter how much hurt I was feeling, and no matter how disappointed I was in myself for what I have done, I was about to raise that big anchor of the past and set sail on a bright future by letting it all go. Life was there for the taking, a happy life, one that would be the catalyst for my future, so I grabbed it. Once I did, I became mentally and spiritually fit and started to enjoy my life, one day at a time. No more dwelling, no more anchors, no more re-living my disappointments, pains, and setbacks, and no more letting myself get consumed with the “what was” but instead, I started to focus on the “what will be’s”. Life to me is not about what I have done, it is about what I am going to do, and I made a decision that I am going to do everything in my power to live out the rest of my life, being happy.
Now please understand that I know pain is real, I understand that sadness hurts, and I understand that people, places, and things can negatively impact our lives in dramatic fashion, but what I am saying is, that you should not keep re-playing the tape and you should not be re-living it day after day. It is natural to feel pain and it is natural to feel sadness, that is just the way we are made, but we are not made to dwell on it and stay stuck in it. Life goes on and it always will. We, you, have to make a conscious decision that when a pain, or a hurt, or a disappointment comes at you, there is a time to grieve, there is a time to be sad, but when it starts to drop its anchor, you need to rise up and say “NO”….
Today, raise up that anchor that is holding you hostage, declare freedom over your past and set sail on your future that has been sitting in front of you. No more self pity, no more hindering your future, no more feeling sorry for yourself, no more chip on your shoulder, no more asking yourself why did this happen to me, no more saying life is unfair, and no more asking yourself why things didn’t work out in your life. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND THE DECISION IS YOURS TO MAKE..”DO YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THE PAST OR DO YOU WANT TO MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE?” THE TIME IS NOW AND NOW IS THE TIME!! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME, YOUR THOUGHTS, AND YOUR ENERGY ON THINGS YOU CAN NOT CHANGE!!!!!!
No matter how hard it is to let go, no matter what has happened to you and no matter what you have been through, you can never change it, so open the sails, raise the anchor, and set your sights on the beautiful future that is in the palm of your hands..
Please enjoy your day!!!
Rich Barnes