I tell my personal stories for the sole purpose of not only sharing them with everyone, but in hopes of helping someone overcome the same adversities and challenges that I have overcome.
Being in recovery from alcohol and drug abuse, I am able to reflect on my bad and selfish behaviors that I portrayed in my active days with a clear heart and clean conscience, and try not only to fix them, but to learn from them as well…
The year was 2003 and my father was investigating the possibility of getting a new roof of shingles on his home. I was in the car business and knew lots of people and I finally found someone that would give him an estimate. I told the guy to give him an estimate and to add 500 dollars in it for me, after all, my sickness and self-centered behaviors told me I was entitled to it and that I deserved something for the setting up the transaction. (I now know how wrong that was). To make a long story short, my father’s roof was done, I got my 500 dollars and everyone was happy. I did not think twice about how wrong it was for me to do that and that in reality, I just stole 500 dollars from my father…..
I got sober in 2006 and my whole life and the ways in which I was thinking, were changing right before my eyes. I removed the obsession to be devious and manipulating and soon enough replaced those bad traits with honesty and integrity. I needed to make the bad in my life right and would do anything in my means to make that happen, and this 500 dollars was on the top of my list for it was eating at my inner most canyons of my heart.
I needed to talk to my father and I was scared, embarrassed, and filled with fear but in order to change who I was, I needed to change who I was and worst of all for me, admit what I did was so wrong. I thought to myself if I am going to make this wrong, right, I can not let being scared, embarrassed or the fear dictate what I needed to do….So I drove to his house with the intention of telling him what I have done.
I walk into his house, scared and the feeling of emptiness has taken over. I needed to get the 30 seconds of courage to tell him and I dug down deeper than I have ever dug before and told him. I told him I stole from him and how sorry I was and asked for his forgiveness. I took five 100 dollar bills out of my pocket and gave him his money back. I needed to clear my conscience no matter what the price I would pay and I did. He was not angry and he was not visibly upset and in fact, I feel now in doing what I did in regards to telling him the truth, he respects me more. He did not want the money but I insisted he take it and our relationship is that much better.
I tell you this again so that if you are struggling with something that you are afraid of or that you are embarrassed about, then just deal with it. Don’t let things sit and sit inside your heart and grow into something bigger than they really are. You have every capability to make all of your wrongs, right again. The only thing you need is 30 seconds of courage. Once you spill yourself to that person, your life will be that much more complete and the door you once never thought would close, will not only close but will be nailed shut forever and other doors of happiness will open.
Today, break through your barriers of fear and make your life right. Never let fear or doubt dictate your life’s progress and always look to your future with an open mind and a clear conscience….
Have a great day and thank you for reading…
Rich Barnes